Reflections on ACIM Lesson 186 Salvation of the World Depends on Me
This lesson was meant for my ego. I have spent most of my life thinking that as one individual, trying to be there for or save one individual, that I would save the world. The thought that saving myself would save the world seemed selfish and not something I would do. Is it not better to sacrifice oneself to the greater good, work hard to the bone until exhausted or ill, is this not what the world expects of me, especially in my profession? No wonder so many physicians burn out.
When I was younger I thought that I should work with Mother Teresa in India
How does the salvation of the world depend on me unless I sacrifice myself? I still struggle with this daily. I still work in situations where there are not enough staff and way too many patients and yet I see that I need do nothing at all. I can just sit there, being the holy Son of God as the Course would say and that is truly enough.
Little by little I see that my erroneous understanding of this lesson has placed all the burden on me, on the ego (and on my superego, the conscience part of me that says I have to give my all, do my best). My understanding is incorrect.
The salvation of the world means that I forgive myself for every time I forgot something, every time I think I could have done more but had no time, that I try to forgive myself for my thoughts about the lack of competence of other staff and just concentrate on what God wills for me. To be led by that voice which is strong within and to truly listen to it rather than feel I have to be thinking at work all the time. The ego thinks: at home I can listen to the voice for love, but at work I have to keep thinking.
It means to love as God loves in all situations especially to give love to myself. And so today I will remember that the salvation of the world depends on me and I can just step aside and let God do its magnificent work through me.
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